Sadly we live in a world today that society is beginning to think that children don't need a father and and a mother. I am standing firm in my belief that children need both roles in their lives. Feminist Gloria Steinmen said, "Most American children suffer too much mother and too little father."
Fathers and Their Impact on Children’s Well-Being
Dr. David Popenoe says, "“ Fathers are far more than just a ‘second adult’ in the home…involved fathers bring positive benefits to their children that no other person is as likely to bring.” What a profound statement! Fathers do have an impact on children’s well-being. I have seen young families where the husband/father passes away and it impacts the whole family, specially the children. There are certain influences a father on a child that mothers do not. Therefore, children need both a mother and father in the home.
The Impact of the Mother-Father Relationship on Child Outcomes
Children who have both a mother and a father are strongly influenced by the father and his relationship with the mother. It has been proven that children are psychologically and emotionally healthier when their father has a good, strong relationship with their mother. When the father has a good relationship with the wife, he is more likely to be involved in the children’s lives and that can make a huge impact.
The Impact of Fathers and Cognitive Ability and Educational Achievement
Fathers who are involved, nurturing, and playful with their infants have children with higher IQs, as well as better linguistic and cognitive capacities.” When a father shows love and support to a child, that child feels the love and support and gains greater confidence in themselves. Because of that they are able to start school with higher academic readiness and they are ready to take on the world. Many studies have been done that find that fathers contribute to better verbal skills, intellectual functioning, and academic achievement.
A Fathers Protection
Sigmund Freud wrote, “I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a fathers’ protection.” The father is to be the provider, presider and protector of the family. When I think of fathers, I think of loving, caring men who would do anything for their wives and children. When I was scared, I knew that I could run to my dad because he would always be there to protect me. I knew he could beat up the bad guys and that make me feel save.
Today I am 21 years old and when I was 10 my father passed away. I’ve gone half my life with a father and the other half without him. The second half has been hard without him and I wish that he were still here. One big thing that I remember about my dad was that he was really encouraging as a parent. You could say my mom was but she was more of an Authoritarian parent and wasn’t as encouraging as my dad but demanding. My dad encouraged me to get out of my comfort zone and not be so shy. I remember once in Kindergarten, I was so shy that I couldn’t say “here” when we did attendance role. I remember my mom trying to encourage me to say ‘here’ but I just never could. I knew it probably frustrated my parents and my teacher but I could never find it in me to talk. However, one day my dad came to me and said if I said “here” then he would buy me some candy. Boy that really sparked my attention. I really wanted that candy he promised me and guess what I said ‘here’! I couldn’t believe I had just said it and he rewarded me with candy and then had a talk with me about confidence. He knew how to talk to me and how to encourage me.
I also remember my father always being at my sibling’s baseball, basketball, football and volleyball games. As I look back on our family home videos, there are tons of games that my dad recorded and you can hear him hollering and cheering for my siblings and their teammates. My dad loved all sports and taught all of us the game of basketball. I remember when he would take me to our church gym and would have lessons with me. In grade school he encouraged me to join the heisey team and after practice he would help me go through plays and understand the game better. I loved when he came to my games and supported me. I always tried to do my best and didn’t want to let him down.
My dad built a great relationship between us that I am extremely grateful for. If I didn’t have that relationship then I wouldn’t have known and remembered him. He would always take time out of his evening to go on a bike ride with me. It didn’t matter how busy or stressed he was. That was our time to get out and explore and have some daddy-daughter time. Once in a while we ride down to our little main street and get a can of root beer from the pop machine and share it. Mom didn’t allow a lot of pop/soda in our home so once in a while we would sneak out and get one. I loved spending that time with my father. After he passed away I stopped going on bike rides because it was so lonely. Many people in our community would always talk about how they remember seeing my dad and I riding around together. Fathers fill a special place in our lives and he is someone who will never be replaced.
To me it is very important to have fathers in children’s lives. They create an impact on the child that a mother can’t. One thing that I would hope is that children don’t take advantage of their mothers and fathers. There are children who don’t have a mother or father figure or either. One thing that was extremely important to me while finding a spouse was knowing that he loved children and wanted to be a part of their lives. My husband lost his father while he was serving a mission and it’s been two years since then and it’s been a difficult adjustment for him and this has helped him realize how important having a father figure is in life. My husband and I have talked about how we will both be involved in our children’s lives, especially him. We’ve talked about how important it is that we love each other and let our children know how much we care about one another. My husband wants to teach our boys how to treat woman and we want our girls to learn to date and good, respectful men. My husband will be the provider, protector and presider over our family. He will have individual councils for each of our children growing up so that he can spend some time focusing on them and not being distracted. We will hold FHE and he will lead us in it each week and together we will teach our children the gospel and importance of family. I love my family and am grateful for the home that I grew up in and I want to give my own children the same experience.
Fathers and Their Impact on Children’s Well-Being
Dr. David Popenoe says, "“ Fathers are far more than just a ‘second adult’ in the home…involved fathers bring positive benefits to their children that no other person is as likely to bring.” What a profound statement! Fathers do have an impact on children’s well-being. I have seen young families where the husband/father passes away and it impacts the whole family, specially the children. There are certain influences a father on a child that mothers do not. Therefore, children need both a mother and father in the home.
The Impact of the Mother-Father Relationship on Child Outcomes
Children who have both a mother and a father are strongly influenced by the father and his relationship with the mother. It has been proven that children are psychologically and emotionally healthier when their father has a good, strong relationship with their mother. When the father has a good relationship with the wife, he is more likely to be involved in the children’s lives and that can make a huge impact.
The Impact of Fathers and Cognitive Ability and Educational Achievement
Fathers who are involved, nurturing, and playful with their infants have children with higher IQs, as well as better linguistic and cognitive capacities.” When a father shows love and support to a child, that child feels the love and support and gains greater confidence in themselves. Because of that they are able to start school with higher academic readiness and they are ready to take on the world. Many studies have been done that find that fathers contribute to better verbal skills, intellectual functioning, and academic achievement.
A Fathers Protection
Sigmund Freud wrote, “I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a fathers’ protection.” The father is to be the provider, presider and protector of the family. When I think of fathers, I think of loving, caring men who would do anything for their wives and children. When I was scared, I knew that I could run to my dad because he would always be there to protect me. I knew he could beat up the bad guys and that make me feel save.
Today I am 21 years old and when I was 10 my father passed away. I’ve gone half my life with a father and the other half without him. The second half has been hard without him and I wish that he were still here. One big thing that I remember about my dad was that he was really encouraging as a parent. You could say my mom was but she was more of an Authoritarian parent and wasn’t as encouraging as my dad but demanding. My dad encouraged me to get out of my comfort zone and not be so shy. I remember once in Kindergarten, I was so shy that I couldn’t say “here” when we did attendance role. I remember my mom trying to encourage me to say ‘here’ but I just never could. I knew it probably frustrated my parents and my teacher but I could never find it in me to talk. However, one day my dad came to me and said if I said “here” then he would buy me some candy. Boy that really sparked my attention. I really wanted that candy he promised me and guess what I said ‘here’! I couldn’t believe I had just said it and he rewarded me with candy and then had a talk with me about confidence. He knew how to talk to me and how to encourage me.
I also remember my father always being at my sibling’s baseball, basketball, football and volleyball games. As I look back on our family home videos, there are tons of games that my dad recorded and you can hear him hollering and cheering for my siblings and their teammates. My dad loved all sports and taught all of us the game of basketball. I remember when he would take me to our church gym and would have lessons with me. In grade school he encouraged me to join the heisey team and after practice he would help me go through plays and understand the game better. I loved when he came to my games and supported me. I always tried to do my best and didn’t want to let him down.
My dad built a great relationship between us that I am extremely grateful for. If I didn’t have that relationship then I wouldn’t have known and remembered him. He would always take time out of his evening to go on a bike ride with me. It didn’t matter how busy or stressed he was. That was our time to get out and explore and have some daddy-daughter time. Once in a while we ride down to our little main street and get a can of root beer from the pop machine and share it. Mom didn’t allow a lot of pop/soda in our home so once in a while we would sneak out and get one. I loved spending that time with my father. After he passed away I stopped going on bike rides because it was so lonely. Many people in our community would always talk about how they remember seeing my dad and I riding around together. Fathers fill a special place in our lives and he is someone who will never be replaced.
To me it is very important to have fathers in children’s lives. They create an impact on the child that a mother can’t. One thing that I would hope is that children don’t take advantage of their mothers and fathers. There are children who don’t have a mother or father figure or either. One thing that was extremely important to me while finding a spouse was knowing that he loved children and wanted to be a part of their lives. My husband lost his father while he was serving a mission and it’s been two years since then and it’s been a difficult adjustment for him and this has helped him realize how important having a father figure is in life. My husband and I have talked about how we will both be involved in our children’s lives, especially him. We’ve talked about how important it is that we love each other and let our children know how much we care about one another. My husband wants to teach our boys how to treat woman and we want our girls to learn to date and good, respectful men. My husband will be the provider, protector and presider over our family. He will have individual councils for each of our children growing up so that he can spend some time focusing on them and not being distracted. We will hold FHE and he will lead us in it each week and together we will teach our children the gospel and importance of family. I love my family and am grateful for the home that I grew up in and I want to give my own children the same experience.