This week I learned about Marriage and family myths and these are the ones that stuck out to me
Opposites Attract
Having Children Increases Marital Satisfaction
Happily Married People don't have conflict
A Good Sex Life Is the Best Predictor of Marital Satisfaction
Opposites Attract:
The line "opposites attracts" makes me laugh because it is very unlikely for someone to be attracted to their "opposite." It does happen that people do marry who are opposite of each other. However, these marriages have a lower change of being lasting and satisfying. The chances of a marriage working is when the couple have similar backgrounds, share common interests, your values, lifestyle, etc.
Having Children Increases Marital Satisfaction:
Most people believe that having a child will save their marriage if they are struggling. That is so not true in many cases. Studies have proven that having children decreases marital satisfaction. Often parents to not have the time or energy for their own relationship because children require an immense amount of energy. This is not to say that every child detracts from their parents relationship. I believe that children can bring happiness into a marriage. I believe that husband and wife need to put each others needs first when they have children so that they don't jeopardize their marriage.
Happily Married People Don't Have Conflict:
Happily married people DO have conflict. It does happen and it is normal. I personally believe that conflicts, when handled correctly can strengthen rather than destroy a marriage. Just because one has a conflict or argument, doesn't mean that their marriage is destined for failure. My husband and I have had conflicts in our marriage but it hasn't damaged our relationship. We end up loving each other more and appreciating one another. During the summers back home I use to mow my neighbors lawn. He is a 89 year old man, who lost is wife about three years ago. One day last summer after I was done mowing his lawn, I went into his shop to talk to him. We talked about how I was getting married soon and he wanted to offer me some advice. He told me that he and his wife got into a few arguments and disagreements but they never got out of control and never once raised their voices at each other. Instead he would excuse himself and go get some air. When you are upset and angry and in the "heat of the moment" most the time you can accidentally say something you might regret later. I think that is great advice when in conflict, excuse yourself and take some time to cool down and think about what you want to say so that you don't offend your partner.
A Good Sex Life Is the Best Predictor of Marital Satisfaction:
It make me sad when I hear of couples and they are asked why they are getting married and they say they have great sex. A good sex life is NOT the best predictor of marital satisfaction. A good sex life is important when both husbands and wife's need are met but there are so many other things that are important in a marriage. You can have a great sex life and be unhappily married. You can also have an unfulfilled sex life and be happily married. I know plenty of people who are happy for reasons other than sex. Married sex is way more satisfying than unmarried sex because you are connected to your spouse emotionally and physically. It's important to save sex for marriage. It is so hard to do that in the world we live in today. Sex is a sacred act that should only be exercised between husband and wife. A good predictor of marital satisfaction is how happy your partner makes you feel and if you can talk and communicate well, don't base it off of sex.
Opposites Attract
Having Children Increases Marital Satisfaction
Happily Married People don't have conflict
A Good Sex Life Is the Best Predictor of Marital Satisfaction
Opposites Attract:
The line "opposites attracts" makes me laugh because it is very unlikely for someone to be attracted to their "opposite." It does happen that people do marry who are opposite of each other. However, these marriages have a lower change of being lasting and satisfying. The chances of a marriage working is when the couple have similar backgrounds, share common interests, your values, lifestyle, etc.
Having Children Increases Marital Satisfaction:
Most people believe that having a child will save their marriage if they are struggling. That is so not true in many cases. Studies have proven that having children decreases marital satisfaction. Often parents to not have the time or energy for their own relationship because children require an immense amount of energy. This is not to say that every child detracts from their parents relationship. I believe that children can bring happiness into a marriage. I believe that husband and wife need to put each others needs first when they have children so that they don't jeopardize their marriage.
Happily Married People Don't Have Conflict:
Happily married people DO have conflict. It does happen and it is normal. I personally believe that conflicts, when handled correctly can strengthen rather than destroy a marriage. Just because one has a conflict or argument, doesn't mean that their marriage is destined for failure. My husband and I have had conflicts in our marriage but it hasn't damaged our relationship. We end up loving each other more and appreciating one another. During the summers back home I use to mow my neighbors lawn. He is a 89 year old man, who lost is wife about three years ago. One day last summer after I was done mowing his lawn, I went into his shop to talk to him. We talked about how I was getting married soon and he wanted to offer me some advice. He told me that he and his wife got into a few arguments and disagreements but they never got out of control and never once raised their voices at each other. Instead he would excuse himself and go get some air. When you are upset and angry and in the "heat of the moment" most the time you can accidentally say something you might regret later. I think that is great advice when in conflict, excuse yourself and take some time to cool down and think about what you want to say so that you don't offend your partner.
A Good Sex Life Is the Best Predictor of Marital Satisfaction:
It make me sad when I hear of couples and they are asked why they are getting married and they say they have great sex. A good sex life is NOT the best predictor of marital satisfaction. A good sex life is important when both husbands and wife's need are met but there are so many other things that are important in a marriage. You can have a great sex life and be unhappily married. You can also have an unfulfilled sex life and be happily married. I know plenty of people who are happy for reasons other than sex. Married sex is way more satisfying than unmarried sex because you are connected to your spouse emotionally and physically. It's important to save sex for marriage. It is so hard to do that in the world we live in today. Sex is a sacred act that should only be exercised between husband and wife. A good predictor of marital satisfaction is how happy your partner makes you feel and if you can talk and communicate well, don't base it off of sex.